"It's Spiderman! In a ninja top and pig legs!"

Written on the back, "To you mummy. Lock up your heart in a cage to stop evil."

Me "When you're older it'll be nice to read these novels by yourself."

Mega Pez "And when I have a child I can read it to them too!"

"Mummy do you want to be Gamora or Black Widow?"

"I want to be Thor."
"But Thor is a boy."
"I can be the god of thunder if I want to be."

"What are you going to do now?"
"I'll take my pick and my sword and I'll search until I'm bored."

Mummy do you know how many ideas I have left in my head? Eight million. I’m going to write them on my invisible desk and save them for school tomorrow.

"Mummy has my balloon burst?"

"No it’s just the helium has escaped. It’s helium inside that makes it float."

"ALIENS? Why are aliens in my balloon?”

Standing at my side trying to get past.

“Opps um mwaa!”

“What?

“Oops um mwaa!”

“WHAT?”

“Scoose um mwaa?”

“Oh I like your fort”

“Mummy… It’s not a fort. It’s a planet!”

“Mummy look at this.” 

“No. Go to sleep. I’m killing a giant robot.”

“I don’t see a giant robot. Just a floaty skull”

“The floaty skull is a pretendy robot. Go to sleep.”

“Oh that’s okay then.”

“Mummy why is it called Booty Bay? Is it because it’s made out of shoes?”

“Mummy if a harmonica goes up your bum will you play tunes when you walk?

“Mummy come see what my skin looks like!”

Homework. 

Topic: Famous Sports people. 

Subject: Mark Cavendish.  

Fact: He is a Member of the Order of the British Empire.

MegaPez: "The Empire? Mummy does that mean he's evil?

“Mummy don’t fall asleep in the middle of the street. I’ll just walk off.” - Cheers kid.

MegaPez: “Mummy if it’s half boy and half girl do you call them a himher?”

Whilst RPing a battle with my Warcraft guild mates and losing the dice roll yet again:

Me “Noooooo!” 

MegaPez “Mummy are you not the toughest?”

“Mummy are they two boys having a cuddle?”  

I starting thinking oh here come the questions, when I said yes he said 

“That’s silly, they both have long hair!”

“Mummy what are those ball like things next to my winkie called?

“People call them balls, but their proper name is testicles.”  

“Mummy what’s the Chinese word for testicles?”

"Mummy did you know there's a door in my head where the ideas come in?"

"Mummy can I eat the Jaffa Cakes tomorrow?"

"Not if I eat them all tonight."

"Mummy, can reading books take you to another world?"

"Mummy, have you eaten ghost's cheese before?"

"Um... no. What kind of ghost is it?"

"Noo Mummy GOAT's cheese!"

Me: MegaPez would you like to get ready?

Him: No thanks.

"Mummy this will be my last shenanigan!"

One man protest against school. It didn't help much that I burst out laughing at him

Oh the drama! MegaPez has eaten a little piece of silver paper. He has no idea why. We've had fifteen minutes of him screaming "Get it out my tummy!"

MegaPez is playing ever so nicely, lining up his animals to march in to the ark. He suddenly starts chanting "Down with Bender! Down with Bender!"

During potty training, some years ago:

I run upstairs for two minutes to put the washing away, while I'm up there MegaPez is a very good boy and uses his potty. When I come back in the room he's standing over his potty with my phone in his hand taking a picture of his poo.  


This is the start of things...